I have failed so many times, I cannot count them all. Because of the abuse I endured as a child and adult, I found it difficult to make true friends. It seemed like the only friends I had, were those that used me for what I could do for them. Whether it was stealing, or sex. I still had a low self-esteem and allowed people to treat me poorly. I thought as long as I could help them, they were my friends, so it took me years to realize that I was still being used, but at least it was attention that I craved.
I thought attention and love were the same thing. It took me awhile to understand that I needed to find myself and what I wanted to accomplish with my life, and not what others felt I should do. So even though I considered myself a failure, I was actually learning about who Mandie is and what I want to accomplish with my life.
For the past 10 years, I ave been going to counseling off and on. I used to live in the state of Minnesota, when I found an superb counselor that made me realize that we all have choices, and to find out what is most important in my life. Don't get me wrong I am still far from perfect, but at least I found a long term life goal to help others the way I wish I was helped when I was younger.
I also have a husband, Curtis, who has been by my side, I have to admit there are times I feel he could have been happier with someone else, but we discovered that life isn't perfect, so we continue to strive to make things better for us and those around us.
Like I said "Failing isn't the end", it's the will power to get back up no matter what life throws at us and continue to strive to help those that need it. I do admit sometimes I feel God gives me more then I can handle, it is why I now strive to make true friends, and find others to lean on when I am at my weakest point. So instead of blaming others for my predicaments, I pick myself up and continue to keep going. After all learning from failure is the key to Happiness.
Prayers,
Mandie
Add comment
Comments