There Comes a Time

"There comes a time

...In everybody's life
When alone is not enough
To make things right..." ~ Celine Dion

When I started this post, I didn't know about this incredible song; for me it was about making changes in my life.

Recently, I was confronted by fear, fear of abandonment. I wanted people to like or love me, even though they used me, as long as I had a connection with them; it made me feel good that I could help. Some were so called friends and others family members that I couldn't say no to.

I felt good being able to help them when they needed it, but it was not reciprocated when I needed help.

The past 2 weeks have been very difficult for me. My car is running rough, may need a new engine or electrical work. My husband made two insulting remarks to me that hurt; my brother broke his left arm, and had 3 strokes, and now is in the hospital. A psychiatrist made disparaging remarks about my personal physique. Lastly, my son told me something I'm not certain if I should forgive.

Also, I was almost ran off the road a few days ago.  I'm almost certain it was intentional about what a family member has done, and taking it out on me. We were diving around town that day and saw the vehicle a few times. Then we went on the highway and it came alongside of us and kept veering towards us 3 times, before it sped away.Yeah, definitely a week I won't forget.

Hence the post "There comes a Time," I feel like I am at a crossroad, and feel damned no matter the choices I make.

I feel depressed, angry, frustrated, and overall piss*d off at the world. So needless to say, I've been trying my meditations, because the icing on the cake is I am having nightmares again.

So yeah going through some tough times. Writing about it and talking to my counselor has helped, but wanted my followers to know, that life can get overwhelming and we need to breathe and analyze our options.

Needless to say, I have been crying quite a bit, and now that things are starting to settle down, I had to pick myself back up and continue working on my goals.

Sad to say, but any little thing that bothers me, I'm been lashing out on those around me.

Normally, I write about positive things, but today I wanted to make a point, that life isn't always a bowl of cherries. So realize when life knocks you down, stand back up and continue to fight for what you love.

Prayers,

Mandie