Hanging by a Thread

Hanging by a Thread

There are times those close to us are no longer in our lives. I want  to  tell you a story about a woman, one that I wish I knew better then I did. She was kind, loving, and caring to her four sons.  I was an outcast, they were my younger brothers, yes she was my mother.

I wanted to say that she was an amazing beautiful woman. By the time I learned about her she only had 14 months left. Granted I knew about her my whole life, yet we were never close.

When I left my adopted family, and was free of his control, I turned to my biological family. At first, they seemed loving and caring until one day, my father decided that I was only good for one thing, The same thing other men wanted from me...my body.

It hurt knowing that my biological father was treating me the same way my adopted family did, like I was a piece of meat to be used.

I tried to tell my mom what he did, and I got a strong hand across my face for "lying" about my father. I will never forget that time, I was stricken, and mad and pi**ed off, knowing she didn't believe me.

It hurt me more then the abuse from my father, knowing that my own mother thought I was lying to her.

Don't get me wrong, even though I was abused, I still loved them with all my heart; I just wish they could understand the trauma I endured.  I felt so depressed and lonely, and realized that I couldn't trust my family.

I really hate saying negative things about my family, but also one of my core beliefs is being honest. After years of being reunited with my family, things slowly changed. My father started treating me like a daughter and had me assist him doing odd jobs. My mother and I grew closer and started doing fun things together, like playing bingo and yard sales.

By 2006, my father began looking worn out, he didn't do all the things je loved doing. By 2007, he got worse and later that year he had a heart attack, yet was released from the hospital, and shortly hereafter, he had 3 strokes and was once again rushed to the emergency room. I watched them put a huge needle in his heart, and he died shortly after.

My mother started changing as well, she shortly after was diagnosed with cirrhosis.  According to Mayo Clinic Cirrhosis is severe scarring of the liver. This serious condition can be caused by many forms of liver diseases and conditions, such as hepatitis or chronic alcoholism.

My mother never drank alcohol n her entire life, all I can remember the doctors asking is did she drink ?

By the time we knew about her cirrhosis, there was nothing that could be done, On Christmas morning in 2008, she passed away.

Months previous to that her and I got to be a lot closer, and she had hospice take care of her as well as my family. It was horrifying watching her fade away. She was hanging by a thread and there was nothing that could be done,

It was at this point in my life changed; I understood that I was a worthwhile individual and could pursue goals of my own. I will always remember and cherish my parents. They both struggled hard to make the most out of their lives.

We are all hanging by a thread, so we need to make the most out of every breath we take, to make it the best possible life for ourselves and our children.

Prayers,

Mandie