Have you ever had a childhood friend, with whom you hung out and played together, whether it was tea parties, dressing up your Barbie dolls, or even jumping rope or playing at the playground? I was 10 years old when I met my friend. When I became a teenager, I loved listening to music, whether it was country or pop music, I would just sit and talk to my friend and listen to the radio. We would talk about which bands we liked or had a crush on. It was incredible, like living in a fantasy. Her name was Sara...(well, not really)...but Sara and I would do everything together, shopping at the mall, buying cheap jewelry, and feeling like life was so wonderful!
I felt blessed to have such a wonderful and close relationship, it was like nothing could separate us. I can remember a camping trip we took and sleeping in a tent underneath the brilliant light of thousands of stars. I would whisper to her at night, saying how much I liked her and hope that we would still be friends when were older.
Time went by as it usually does, and Sara and I slowly started losing our connection. Whenever I ran into her, I would hold her hand and we would catch up on all the things that were happening. She seemed to know what to say, until one afternoon, I held her closely and told her about my monster, who would come into my room at night and do terrible things to me.
Even though she held a blank stare as in disbelief, we let it go and talked about other things, like school and music. Once again life seemed incredible seeing my friend and knowing I could confide in her.
So one day I went riding my bike and Sara came along as well, we lived about a mile from an Ice cream shop. As we were riding along a car came screaming by and Sara fell off the bike and her arm was crushed by the fast-moving car. I can remember crying thinking Sara was hurt badly. The car continued to speed away, so nothing was done about Sara's broken arm. For the next few days, I would check on Sara, to make sure she was healing and getting better, yet I slightly noticed that the twinkle in her eye had gone away.
I just figured she was recuperating and didn't give it too much thought. So we went outside on the back porch and turned the boombox on and started listening to music. Then a sad song came on the radio. I can remember the name "Everbody's got to learn sometime" by the Korgis. To me, it was a sad song and yet felt anomalous in the repetition of the words. I glanced at Sara and once again she had a blank look on her face. I tried asking her what was wrong, and she murmured that she was leaving. I asked what do you meant your leaving, and she didn't respond and I tightly held onto her hand. With a tear in my eye, I just breathed in deeply and asked if she wanted to play dolls.
I could remember the park and us playing on the swing and lying on the grass, staring at the clouds, and discussing the different shapes and animals we saw. I still remember the first time we met. It was at Christmas time 3 years ago, she had long auburn hair and a few freckles with an amazing smile. I knew when I saw her that we were destined to be together forever.
Over the next few weeks, I kept wondering what she meant by that she had to leave. We had gone through so much together, I couldn't imagine a world without her in it. I was hoping that she and I would live next to each other and live our own life, without monsters.
So one night Sara came to me and said that she wanted to protect me from my monster, I tried asking her how, but she wouldn't go into any details except that she wanted to rescue me. So the next night while I sleeping, I heard this huge crash and yelling. I jumped out of bed to see what was going on. I ran to the stairs and saw my foster father lying at the bottom, I could hear him yelling out obscenities that he tripped over something. I looked around, and Sara was lying motionless, I could almost hear her say I tried. My adopted father realized it was my little redhead doll his wife bought 3 years ago.
He demanded that we give him Sara, I was pleading please no,no, what are you going to do? He stated I am tired of hearing you talk to this thing as if it were alive. I am getting rid of it. Where we lived on the outskirts of town, we had a burning barrel outside and he limped outside, lit the barrel, and tossed Sara inside it.
Even though Sara failed her mission to remove the demon from my life, I will always remember the good times we shared, at that time she was my coping mechanism. Although many of these events were true, it was a complete accident, that my doll was left near the staircase.
Prayers,
Mandie
"Farewell dear Sara and thank you for giving me the strength to carry on."
(Below is a similar picture of Sara)
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