PURPOSE...The Key to Survival

PURPOSE...The Key to Survival

We have a code blue in room 814, repeat we have a code blue in room 814. I was down on the third floor grabbing a coffee and a bite to eat, when I heard the lady over the intercom.

I sat frozen for a minute, realizing that my daughter was assigned that room after her MRI. As my heart started pounding, I quickly got up, knocking my chair over and started running towards the elevators.

It never fails I was panicking, pushing buttons to all 4 elevators seeing which would come to me first.I started hyper-ventilating when 2 nurses walked by and asked if I was OK. All I could do was gasp.."my daughter, my daughter".

The male nurse realized what was going on and quickly grabbed my arm so I wouldn't fall over from passing out. Meanwhile the female nurse watched the elevator doors so she could hold it for me.

My legs felt like jello, as the nurse quickly walked me towards the elevator door. I staggered as well as possible as the room started spinning. I could feel my heart pounding, like is was going to burst out of my chest.

The male nurse assisting me yelled to the other nurse, "eighth floor!"

As the elevator ascended, I could see the numbers going up until it hit 8. Then the unexpected happened, the elevator starting going back down. I could hear this feint voice, saying "It's okay Miss Brown, everything will be alright."

I slowly opened my eyes, blinking, wondering what was going on. 

The next thing I knew I was lying down in a hospital bed, my head still spinning, as I struggled to comprehend what was going on.

A nurse realizing I was awake, said , "Do you know why your here?"

I mumbled, "Is my daughter alright?" as my eye slowly adjusted to the lights in the recovery room.

The doctor walked in as I asked the question. He said "Your daughter is fine, she had to go back home with your husband and will be back later this afternoon."

I started crying realizing that I was dreaming during the surgery.

Then slowly the lights started dimming as the room slowly vanished and I was near the water. It was a beach that my husband had taken me to watch the sunset and jump in the ocean.

I could remember like it was yesterday, my grandson had went out on a boogie board and was close to the breaking waves, and I immediately jumped in swimming frantically until I was close to him reaching for his legs trying to pull him back inland.

Within in a moment, i thought I saw a shark fin and started screaming for help. My husband came running towards the water as well as the life guard.

They were both swimming as quickly as possible and I grabbed my grandson. pushing, pulling and yanking him back towards the beach. Next I knew I felt a sharp pain in my leg as the shark came and attacked me.

I could vaguely remember seeing red all through the water as I tried swimming back to shore. I could hear a voice in the background at first it was feint, now it was getting louder and louder.

I recognized my husbands voice yelling "Come back to me, come back..."

The next thing I remember is slowly falling, I was still at the beach and my grand-kids, including my grandson were covering me in sand while they laughed. and played.

i could feel the weight of the sand covering me, then once again it got dark...this time very quickly.

All I knew is that I couldn't move, so I yelled out..."NOOO, it's not my time! I screamed out. but the sound of dirt covering a casket with me inside  I continued screaming "Let me out, Let me out!!

There was no response as I gasped and could barely breath, then there was complete silence as I lay there immobilized.

Then after a few minutes or seconds, I couldn't tell anymore, there was a very small flickering light coming from above.

I strained to see what it was and it gradually grew brighter and brighter, and yes even brighter until I was standing bathed in complete light.

I then hear a voice loud and clear stating, "What is your purpose?"

I stammered for a second and replied "I don't know."

The voice repeated the same question, this time a little louder "What is your purpose?

This time I quietly responded "To help people."

The voice seemed to be a little agitated and asked "Who do you want to help."

This time, I felt like I was being put through the wringer after all the experiences I just went through. Finally I exclaimed "I want to help SURVIVORS of sexual abuse!!"

In the next instant I realized I had fallen out of bed all wrapped up in my comforter and my husband coming into our bedroom with a hot cup of coffee, french toast, sausage, strawberries and a scrambled egg.

Prayers,

Mandie

PS I hope your dreams are better then mine :)  Breakfast was superb! 

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