How to make FEAR work for you

How to make FEAR work for you

First and foremost, FEAR is real. Our state of awareness is increased by causing a surge of adrenaline which leads to physical changes like increased heart rate, faster breathing, dilated pupils, muscle tension, sweating, and a heightened focus on the perceived threat.

As I wrote in a blog post on Jan 15th about fear being the mind killer, I want to elaborate on a simplistic approach I discovered on changing my fear to excitement. I am not talking about spiders and snakes. Because yeah, I will always hate seeing them anywhere near me.

Before we cam overcome, attack, destroy. abolish, or face our fears; we must identify them. There are way too many fears to describe each of them independently. However they can be grouped into different kinds of fear.

Summary Chart: The Seven Deadly Fears

• The Fear of Being Alone. We dread reaching out and finding nobody there to respond to our needs. ...
• The Fear of Connecting. ...
• The Fear of Being Abandoned. ...
• The Fear of Self-Assertion. ...
• The Fear of Lack of Recognition. ...
• The Fear of Failure and Success. ...
• The Fear of Being Fully Alive.

I listed these 7 deadly fears, because they are long term and impact us for many years to a lifetime. We all have fears, some are debilitating, while others are not as prominent.

Everyone experiences fear differently, some fears are more impactful but we can experience a combination of them simultaneously.

Before we can make fear work for us, we need to identify what type(s) of fear we are currently experiencing.

1) The fear of being alone ~ This fear can be crippling due to fact we are sometimes left to resolve problems on our own. There are times it builds self-esteem knowing we can face certain fears and challenges on our own, and if we need help I always recommend your support team.

2) The fear of connecting ~ There will be times we may be in a new environment. and hate to try to fit in and connect with people we don't know. This is a difficult challenge especially for me, I hated being out of my comfort zone and always looked for support from my family. I overcame this fear by trial by fire. Meaning once I relocated, i searched and made new friends. It wasn't easy but it all started with counseling.

3) The fear of being abandoned ~ This fear happens frequently, to many people who have been abused. We strive for attention, whether it is good or bad. Leaving a violent situation is difficult, yet necessary in order for us to mature and move on. The truth is, we are all abandoned at one point or another, whether it is through natural causes or accidents or just life. People change directions, it is why being centered in your beliefs that will guide you through.

4) The fear of self assertion ~  refers to the anxiety or apprehension someone feels when they need to express their opinions, needs, or desires, often stemming from a fear of upsetting others, being perceived as selfish, or facing conflict when standing up for themselves. The truth is in life this can be a sign of strength knowing we have valuable opinions that could help others, we just need to be more vocal and implement our thoughts.

5) The Fear of Lack of Recognition ~ is often referred to as athazagoraphobia in psychology, which is an intense and irrational fear of being forgotten, ignored, or overlooked by others, essentially a morbid anxiety about not being seen or acknowledged by people around you.

The sad truth over 80 percent of the world's population goes unrecognized for their valuable contributions. It doesn't meant that their not important, it is just that everyone has different desires and doesn't care about the whole world, just their part in it. Which is completely normal and fine, you don't have to be a superstar to make a difference, just be yourself.

6) The Fear of Failure and Success ~ The fear of failure, also known as atychiphobia, this is an extreme fear of failure that can impact daily life. Traumatic experiences, such as abuse or severe punishment, can contribute to a fear of failure. 

The fear of success, even though similar can be more debilitating due to our beliefs and perceptions that we will lose our friends or family. People with a fear of success may worry about the added work, responsibilities, or criticism that comes with success.

Although similar in design, they have different motivations of the cost to succeed or fail. Understanding the catalysts that provoke our fears enables us to recognize their impact on our emotions.

7) The Fear of Being Fully Alive ~ Apeirophobia is a phobia of eternal life or oblivion after death.It's often linked to thanatophobia, the fear of death. Some people feel they lack purpose, they feel that life is not worth living for. They see and endure the pain and sorrow the world has, and is difficult to see the light that surrounds them. For them they feel it's useless, so why try to imagine a better place.

This is a difficult challenge they must understand in order to see the bigger picture. Seeking the reasons for your feelings is not always easy, generally keep asking why. Why do you feel this way, and what makes you feel like this, until you uncover all reasons for your fears.After identifying our fears we need to reject it. Meaning recognize it's affect on you by learning about it's impairment, and think about it's impact and reject it's control over you. 

After learning how to reject you fear, you need to replace it with an anchor image of something positive. This is part of rewiring our brain, once you practice this technique fear will lose it's control over you.

Rewiring our brain creates new neural pathways they grow the more we use them. Thus adapting and re-framing our mind removes out fears.

I want to say for the most part our body cannot distinguish between excitement and fear. It is a natural reaction to stimuli. The brain's amygdala activates the release of stress hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol from the adrenal glands to fight off our fear or run from it.

I realize that there are literally thousands of books, podcasts, you tube videos and blog posts that discuss fear. What i am going to touch on is a simple plan to reduce your fear and change it to something to be excited about.

We do this by slowly counting to five and imagine a different more comfortable and pleasant memory. This will require time and if you know a stressful incident is going to occur practice imagining a different memory that brings excitement or happiness. Best of luck.

Prayers,

Mandie